Hey, I'm no longer using blogger. I'm now using livejournal. Please add me to your friends if you do have one. My username is JessicaNegative. Thanks.

I might be getting a library card for the Library in Wheaton. Woot. Then I can be all down with the borrowing of bookness.My H&H teach is pretty cool. She's letting me be on and do whatever. Well, I'm not much to be writing as of right now. Soz.
Keep the dream alive,
Kagome

Just got back from the meeting with the people for the day program....three hours of school there isn't too bad. I just wonder what all the kids'll be like. Musicmatch is driving me nuts. Why does it have to be so slow? I'm listening to all the old music I listened to when I was little that I liked. It's so addictive. I think I might go watch the 4th episode of xxxHoLiC later today. I don't know. I'll write more later maybe? Hmm
Keep the dream alive.
~Jess~

I got the FMA movie, so obviously I'm obsessed over that. We've been working the PA Renn Fest for a while. IT's fun,but apparently it's too much of a high for me. I hate Hamilton when she switches sides like that. It really pisses me off. I know I haven't blogged in awhile, I've been too busy with school and therapy to do so. Sorry to anyone who happens to read this. I'm going to go now, I leave you with Cassandra...

CassandraWatching backwards as life like pictures Stinging thoughts, born with phantoms We danced above a world forgotten Moments cherished... even now A train-wrecked heart loves fairy tales Singing from a gaping wound However time has left unsettled My memories play out of tune You can't unmake a cold mistake You can't undo the hearts you break You can't erasethe poet's fate Not even if you try And she had Audrey Hepburn's smile With deeper sadder eyes The only thing she said No one hears Cassandra cry Because the earth is standing still And the truth becomes a lie A choice profound is bittersweet No one hears Cassandra cry A heartfelt sorrow I believe Offered this for passion's crime A crippled satellite trapped in orbit My memories play out of time You can't unmakea cold mistake You can't undothe hearts you break You can't erasethe poet's fate Not even if you try... The listless price of my descension Where emptiness has pulled me down Cascading from my divagation Below the frozen winter skies Pythonic sadness unreleased As serpents rigid in cold Waiting for the warmth of Sunday Before the cruelty of growing old Are you listening? Are you listening? Are you listening now? Like Orpheus with hope entangled Your path was mapped about your feet Leading backwards into forgiveness Or forward to a fools retreat

I'm afraid to go watch the Grudge. I'm not one for people popping out of no where. That scares me. Anyway, I'm officially moving in with dad. I'll start Wheaton/Edison soon. I can't wait. I still am going to be going to therapy four days a week. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Why can't we cut it down a bit. I think I'm going to go take a nap. I feel odd, I don't know why though. Woo! I can type without looking at my keyboard! ^_^ I feel special!

Keep the Dream Alive,
Kagome

Cassandra
Watching backwards as life like pictures Stinging thoughts, born with phantoms We danced above a world forgotten Moments cherished... even now A train-wrecked heart loves fairy tales Singing from a gaping wound However time has left unsettled My memories play out of tune You can't unmake a cold mistake You can't undo the hearts you break You can't erasethe poet's fate Not even if you try And she had Audrey Hepburn's smile With deeper sadder eyes The only thing she said No one hears Cassandra cry Because the earth is standing still And the truth becomes a lie A choice profound is bittersweet No one hears Cassandra cry A heartfelt sorrow I believe Offered this for passion's crime A crippled satellite trapped in orbit My memories play out of time You can't unmakea cold mistake You can't undothe hearts you break You can't erasethe poet's fate Not even if you try... The listless price of my descension Where emptiness has pulled me down Cascading from my divagation Below the frozen winter skies Pythonic sadness unreleased As serpents rigid in cold Waiting for the warmth of Sunday Before the cruelty of growing old Are you listening? Are you listening? Are you listening now? Like Orpheus with hope entangled Your path was mapped about your feet Leading backwards into forgiveness Or forward to a fools retreat


Cruelty
Mother of motion, the eyes can't capture time, falling emotion, the blind now lead the blind, we commit indiscretions, and omit our sins from sight, in a world of intangibles, too many things seem right No hand to scribe, the sinking sickness I have seen, no face to judge until you've been the monster I have been, to hunger is noble, where beauty is silent sleep, my hunger is noble, but my pain is driven deep. Your cruelty and consequence cannot eliminate this relevance Your selfishness, your hatefulness cannot take away my immanence Your cruelty and consequence cannot eliminate this relevance Your selfishness, your hatefulness cannot take away my innocence from me Mother of motion, the eyes can't capture time, falling emotion, the blind now lead the blind, to hunger is noble, where beauty is silent sleep, my hunger is noble, but my pain is driven deep


Dragonfly
"Don't ask me to surrender" Her voice fell tired and spent "My hopes and dreams, a silent heart I carry here within" her outstretched wings, left tattered A sail aged with rust "a breath in time, that's yours and mine... it belongs to only us" And I will write her name and cast it to the sky silhouettes recede into a mother's tearful eyes a host of angels clamor to her side a light dissolves to kiss the wind release the dragonfly See the rose within the field of white She's searching for the grail but the rain descends to snatch the light from distant dying suns a faint resounding in the night calls angels wings to beat singing silent lip-sewn songs but the distance is too deep ..
(Chorus)And I will write her name and cast it to the sky as precious moments will slip away in time angels fall from grace, and sometimes heroes die but tonight, my love, ascend the gates, release the dragonfly "sometimes angels fall, but love will never die tonight my soul is something more" - calls the dragonfly.


Edge of the world
"I walk alone at night,raindrops and streetlightsreflecting flashesacross the asphaltin a second's time, I might refrain from breathingwith her hand in mine, something is breaking fasterthrough a blackened sky, I see a world unravelI look into her eyes to see the endin a second's time, the walls swim cold electricwith a tearful smile, she whispers my undoingin the hollow night, I find no trace of comfortI turn just in time to see the endI walk the edgestanding on the velvet edgelooking backwards in the rainI wonder just how many timesI've watched you walk awayall that fascination bleeds - is a piece of infinityin frustration still believingwhat I know will never beblurry eyes growing weakfading with the light of timepiercing nothing to redeemthe emptiness with liespride has raped the sorrowed heartand stolen what I love,though the cut is digging stillhow much deeper it could go...Why did you come here,just to break my heart again?I walk the edge ------Why did you come here,just to sever my last remaining thread -Why did you come herejust to watch me fall again?I walk the edge ------Why did you come here....?I walk the edge..."


Flames
Sleeping moments giving birth To a world of my own invention Doubt is cast, and what's real Mixes with imaginationMy imagination Each vision, each word Like a message in a bottle The unreal has given birth To the titans of my inner battles Angel, burning away Cutting against the heartless unforgiven Anger, blacken my dream A phoenix in flame, returning in redemption Angel, burning away Cutting against the heartless unforgiven Anger, blacken my dream I can see this angel is me And I am in flames The wind is breaking hard Flowing with the void of fire The light it burns Eyes glow, holding my soul The fallen horde is hunting seraph Wisdom, Prometheus knows A torch is but a tool for heroes We stand to face the hatred Amassing on our borders


Helen
The sounds of yesterday still echo in my headDistant conflicts unresolvedWe were young once, and in loveNothing was more real...more real to feel.Fools for lovers, children are in petty circumstanceLike razors seen more clearly nowWatching from the outside looking downI feel so helplessI see angels trapped beneath the iceAnd strangers in my bed at nightCloudy skies to cover upthe feelings buried in the darkHelen, I think you understandThe night is silent in your handsI give it everything I haveAnd when its goneThere's nothing left but mesadness whispers her condolencesFor the greatest tragedy of all is love lostBut the greatest virtue belongs to those who will give everything to love again...It is a testI don't think its fair to blame each otherFor the happiness we sought but didn't findGibran's words I heard in angel's eyesToo young to understandBut I pause as we grow between the linesAnd if the walls of our communion fall to nothingnessHow wrong the dreamers would beBut I won't accept it, I won't give upWorld be damned, for love is hardAnd this time...This time...I'm not running away
(chorus x2)There is always hope, and the strongest and the bravest will always keep it close to themFor if you surrender hope, then love was right to leave you
(Chorus x2)


Love and Hatred
Can you hear the breath of the observer Can you hear the quanta calling back? The arguments of motivation Implore my distant muse to act Sentiment spent on emotions Derived from our eternal spark All beyond our comprehension Watching protons in the dark All the love and all the hatred Split from our desire to be All the love and all the hatred Leading to hostilities All the saints and all the prophets All the secrets that you keep Exist with one intriguing question Tell me dearest - who are we? Can you hear the gears of evolution Grinding for divinity Can you hear the voices of creation And the science sprawling from the seas Sentiment spent on emotions Derived from our eternal spark All beyond our comprehension Watching protons in the dark All the love and all the hatred Lovers searching for the seed That piece of existential knowing That gives tomorrow wings to dream All the broken hearted angels Living in the ether seams All the love and all the hatred Tell me dearest - who are we?can you hear the cat within the boxcan you hear electrons moving freewatching something, watching nothingin stasis somewhere in-between

Marilyn, My Bitterness
I don't understand how you've donethese things to me I can not comprehend your lack of loyalty For you I would have shaken down the heavens from the sky But it seems my love was stronger than this love of yours that died Did you think it wouldn't hurt?Did you think I wouldn't feel when the world came falling down?or maybe you didn't think at all and that's why I feel what I feel now Did you think I wouldn't fall? Did you think I wouldn't cry?Did you think I wouldn't beg you to stay?One of these days you're gonna realize just what you've thrown away Now I lie here in this empty bed and all I think about is you and I wonder if you miss me now and if your bed is empty too (bridge)Marilyn my bitterness I've fallen to a stranger nightmare Marilyn, oh Marilyn I cannot... find my way / break awayI'll absorb this agony I'll carry all this pain I'll wipe away this emptiness I'll purify this stain my wings will fold around me now for once a one was two and my memory is a monument that will always stand for you (bridge)(chorus)Now must I go away?


Resist/r
striking back for the last heart attack first you tip the scale then they tip it back this escalating trend will never end if they take from you then you take from them with less concern for what is fair to an unconsidered blame you bear this escalating trend will never end, if they take from you... you take from them again waking up from a dream into another day never taking to heart all of the words they say it's so hard to believe if you never see that the truth is split on the in-between waking up from your dream into another day never taking to heart all of the words they say it's so hard to believe because the truth is this: what hatred breeds you must resist Who was the first and who was the last did you count yourself or omit the past this basic concept begins again when your actions flow from the hate within? I don't understand why do you try to make hatred and intolerance seem justified I don't understand your prejudice and lies tear down your ignorance open your eyes if the heart is rich then what you think you are in your core beliefs should not become a sword this basic concept is where it ends... if you close your heart then you begin again I don't understand why do you try to make hatred and intolerance seem justified I don't understand your prejudice and lies tear down your ignorance open your eyes waking from your dream state waking to the truth


Sentiment Inside
Rewind - I only want to listen to you sleep Do you dream of places close to me? I don't know how to make this right I never thought I'd ever breathe so tight Confusing, the issues underneath I don't know how to find this place locked in a box inside a cage far away,Singing songs for rainy days And I want to tell you But words so clumsy are not my friends They starve these thoughts when they begin And I still need you to know But my lips are tightly holding back The sentiment inside is lying trapped Higher, higher than the skies above And deeper than the cells within I love you more than these And I love you more than they Three splinters hide below this shell Where yesterday provided me this hell And left me, lifeless, empty And you're asking for more than I can give But it takes so much air for us to live Completely, I understate my haunted dreams I really don't want to sleep just yet - I think about this... as I lie in bed Let me forget, the color of my death I know it's not fair to live this way Still I've said about as much as I can say And I would, take it all back if I could...

Tears
Reaching out in deadened night,Emptiness by candlelight,Memory a haunted sea,Souring in sudden rage, The damage plagued upon my love,Driven by this selfish urge,To separate yourself from me, But not the way you planned, The gambit flow of shifting thought,Shall ride a kiss upon my cross, And with each moment of despair, Lay to heart a lovely tear. Within each bulb the salty sea,Swims an ocean silently,Swims the forest of my dreams, Swims the essence of my being (...I call me) Come ringing back now,(can't explain),The measures swept away in pain, Hatred, will I escape your grasp, Buried feelings let me pass.I cannot kill this final flame,The fire that once consumed my heart, But Hope must have some kind of fuel, And chance must keep this fire.reduced to ashes, We run colder on the outside. A Spartan hope that dwindles near the source of this contempt. What has my hopeful certainty for the future returned upon my desperation and difficult memory, besides wasted moments, whose questions are not resolved? Simple things went un-addressed, until such time as they could only pass away. Losing you shall (forever mark my breast. Injury knows no justice.)Swimming out the tears in my eyesLooking for the shore,I hope that this is the last time...I hope that this is the last time...

Winterborn (This Sacrifice)
Dry your eyes and quietly bear this pain with pride For heaven shall remember the silent and the brave And promise me, they will never see, the fear within our eyes We will give strength to those who still remain So bury fear for fate draws near and hide the signs of pain With noble acts, the bravest souls endure the heart's remains Discard regret, that in this debt a better world is made That children of a newer day might remember, and avoid our fate.And in the fury of this darkest hour we will be your light You've asked me for my sacrifice and I am Winter born Without denying, a faith is come that I have never known I hear the angels call my name and I am Winter born Hold your head up high-for there is no greater love Think of the faces of the people you defend And promise me, they will never see the tears within our eyes Although we are men with mortal sins, angels never cry So bury fear for fate draws near and hide the signs of pain With noble acts, the bravest souls endure the heart's remains Discard regret, that in this debt a better world is made That children of a newer day might remember, and avoid our fate.And in the fury of this darkest hour we will be your light You've asked me for my sacrifice and I am Winter born Without denying, a faith in God that I have never known I hear the angels call my name and I am Winter born And in the fury of this darkest hour I will be your light A lifetime for this destiny For I am Winter born And in this moment...I will not run, it is my place to stand We few shall carry hope Within our bloodied hands And in our DyingWe're more alive-than we have ever been I've lived for these few seconds For I am Winter born And in the fury of this darkest hour We will be the light You've asked me for my sacrifice And I am Winter born Without denying, a faith in man That I have never known I hear the angels call my name And I am Winter born Within this moment I am for you, though better men have failed I will give my life for love For I am Winter born And in my dying I'm more alive, than I have ever been I will make this sacrifice for I am Winter born


Cruxshadows. This is my favorite band. I love them to death. I can't wait to see them in concert and meet them. I'm on a Shadowbox kick today. I've been watching the concert like mad. I'm off to go watch it again.

Keep the dream alive,
~Kagome~

Too many questions, while answers are few.

I'm thinking aboug going as Goth Lollita twice for Otakon. I don't know. I'm rather bored right now and debating whether or not I should go to sleep. I probably should go clean my room, but hell, I'm not in the mood. I normally don't write here, but I've decided I should write more. I guess that's the whole reason why I have this blog. I don't know. Well I've decided to find all of my old writing and put it up here. Maybe I might even but our Spoofs of Shakespeare up here for Thomas, seeing as he is the only one who ever really comments. For this I thank you Thomas.

Keep the dream alive,
Kagome